she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
pray to the hookup gods
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
