Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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