It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
