I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
