oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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