Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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