Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
