Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
