Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
