I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
