I just cut my nipple shaving
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
