If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
