I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize