I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
