Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
