Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
