her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
