I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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