Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize