I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
