D3 body, D1 cock
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dicks are not precious.
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