The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
