he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
