Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
