Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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