I don't think brook has ever known best
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
