Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
pray to the hookup gods
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
