no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
