I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize