I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
