Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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