i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she looked like the before picture.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
