i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
