Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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