I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize