Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
