Where is the hickey?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
