You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
