Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
