You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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