Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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