Cold hands, warm shart.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
