There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
