I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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