he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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