i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
