I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
