K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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