my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
