You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
