i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
