I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
