thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
