I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
