Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
