all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
