Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
