YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
