And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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